Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
June 12, 2005
File Size
2.1 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
4,680 (1 today)
Favourites
79 (who?)
Comments
154
Downloads
1,725
×


How to write an exciting blog in 10 easy steps!

1: Live an exciting life and write about that. If you don't have a great life, make up stuff you COULD have done during the day.

2: Update atleast once per day. You don't get those all important pageviews if people don't come back every day.

3: Provoke your readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the US; write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else; write about why you support Bush. If that fails you can pretend to have homophobia, hate _all_ animals, be a racist or become a nazi.

4: Tell about your sexlife. If you don't have one, make one up. The more sexpartners, the better.

5: Write horrible things about your friends, family and coworkers. Don't leave anything out!

6: Take and post a lot of pictures, often. Clothes are no good, try to aviod those. If you don't own a camera you should steal other peoples pictures. You should atleast get a webcam to show off yourself, and your cat/dog/whatever. If you are eating something, take a picture of that too.

7: If another blog you read write about something you find stupid, don't let the author get away with it! Write your arguements in your blog and use a lot of nasty words that you link back to the blog in question. Remember to put that person down for weeks, and comment in that blog all the time with links back to you putting them down. Use trackback if possible.

8: You need a very cool username! Your real name doesn't do. Something with "sex" "666" "devil" "tears" "angel" or a lot of XxXxX in it should do.

9: Involve yourself in a huge project your readers can follow, like getting pregnant, build something large, plan a wedding or take over the world.

10: Tell EVERYONE you meet about your blog, both online and offline. Lots of readers and comments is the most important thing of all!


Good luck!
It's hard to blog. This is how you write an exciting blog in 10 easy steps!
(please note what section this is posted in before you start writing your own blog ;P)

Would appreciate any feedback I can get on this! A work in progress!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbersaglio:
This is absolutely hilarious. If you find the time, you've got to do more.
Reply
:iconlexidh:
There is a longer version in my gallery!
Reply
:iconharmonie0805:
This is great you just gave me a inspiration on a process essay =) THANKS!
Reply
:iconharmonie0805:
I may just come to you from now on when i want something different ;) lol
Reply
:iconlexidh:
Hehe, many people do ;P
Reply
:iconharmonie0805:
=) You wanna see the essay I made outta that? I gave half the credit to you to my eng teacher, bc it was your steps =)



Do you want a more exciting online life? Ever heard of a Blog? There are so many different topics to write about lately. From Brittany Spears and K-Feds personal life and relationship to what the government is or is not doing. Many bloggers become famous just for expressing theirs opinions and writing about others. Are you ready for the steps to succeed as a popular blogger?
Step one, live an exciting life and write about it. If you don’t have a life, make one up. Write about things you COULD have done all day. Step two, Don’t forget to update you blog at least once a day. You don’t get all those important page views if people don’t come back everyday. There are different ways to get attention from others in a blog, for example, step three. Provoke you readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the U.S., write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else, write about how and why you support Bush. If that fails, then pretend to have homophobia, hate all animals, be a racist, or just become a Nazi.
Step four, Tell everything about your sex life. If you don’t have one, read a hot steamy romance novel and start making a sex life up. Remember, the more sex partners, the better! Step five, write about the horrible stuff on your family, friends, and co-workers. Leave nothing out! Step six, Take and post a lot of pictures often. If you do not own a camera, then go ask to use others pictures and credit them, or just be bad and steal them. However, you should at least get a web cam and show yourself off all the time, and maybe your dog/cat/whatever too. If your eating something, show that off too, especially if it looks disgusting.
Another great way of keeping your readers wanting more is with step seven. If another blog you read writes about something that you find dumb, don’t let the author get away with it! Write your arguments in your blog and use a lot of nasty words saying what you think about it.
Pallack 2 Make sure you leave a link to where you are referring to. Remember to put that person down for weeks and make sure to leave them comments linking back to what you have to say. Try to use track back if possible, it’s a tool to track who people are and where they are form.
In step eight, you should make sure you have an extremely cool username. Your real name won’t do. It should be something to do with “sex”, “devil”, “tears”, or just a lot of “XxXxX” in it. Step nine, involve yourself in a big project that your readers can follow along with for some time. Such as getting pregnant, building something big, planning a wedding, or maybe just world domination. The most important step is step ten. Tell EVERYONE you meet, online and offline, about your blog. Lot’s of readers and comments is the most important thing of all!
With these ten easy steps you will be on your way to the top in no time! You’ll be loved and hated by all, but most importantly, you’ll be known. . Now you have even more to write about to keep your readers loving your blogs. You could even be the next host one the VMA’s or Movie awards if you become that popular! Now that you have read the steps to a more exciting and popular online life, Good Luck!!
Reply
:iconlexidh:
Haha, wonderful! Thanks for letting me read it! =)
:heart:
Reply
:iconharmonie0805:
glad you like it =)
Reply
:iconsm07:
XDDD Number 6!
Reply
Add a Comment: